Mom Code

You ever watch that show girl code on MTV? It is beyond hysterical, there are so many moments while watching that show I shout out "I do that too!" or I immediately snap chat my best friend with a clip of something that just happen to us or her the other day. Hey remember that time you forgot to remove said plastic BEFORE inserting. Who was I snap chatting? That is for me to know and YOU to never figure out ;) Anyways, as I watch this show and laugh out loud to the point where my cat Penny is so annoyed she gets off the couch and walks away, I realized that everything I relate to is something that I have given up or not been able to do anymore because now I am a mom. So just to prove that moms have fun too ( it was actually kind of hard to believe that myself) I have put together a few of my own codes, Mom Codes.

I will never judge what your house looks like.
Let's face it, chances are our job requirements as a mom include but are not limited to feeding children, bathing children, dressing children, washing children's dirty laundry, washing children's dirty dishes, picking up after children and most importantly keeping children alive! So yah, if you figure out how to include all of the above PLUS everything else your supposed to be doing, get back to me. Because chances are you are the new wizard of Oz... (also, please feel free to insert husband/ baby daddy where the word children is)

I will always be jealous of "not being a mommy" sex.
Sex with your significant other used to be hours of fun. You would be all over the place, no surface area in your house was safe. Now that you are a mom you are lucky if you get out of the bedroom, hell let's be honest here you are lucky if you get any at all. BOB is your friend, learn to love him, because he will always love you.

I will never judge what you are wearing.
Are you wearing that out? The good old days of going out with your girlfriends. It used to take me hours to get ready for a night out, a perfectly planned outfit, incredibly stick straight hair and a pair of matching panties and bra (double score).  I was looking hawt and I knew it. Nowadays getting an outfit together takes about 6 minutes and probably includes leggings and or UGGS to boot.

I will never judge you by the way your kid acts.
Before I became a mom I would always think to myself "get those little shits under control people, you are failing miserably in the game of parenthood". Yep. Well jokes on me. Those "little shits" are programmed to act that way regardless the way you raise them. I like to think I am a pretty good mom, we have a pretty good balance of rules and fun. However, if Cassidy gets in one of her "moods" there is NO coming back. Everyone duck and take cover, mount Cassidy is about to blow!

I will husband/ baby daddy hate with you all day long.
Don't be that person that says they love their husband / baby daddy every freaking second of the day. It is not true! Yes I love my husband, but sometimes I want to throw a can of rotten tomatoes at him. Why rotten tomatoes? Have you ever smelled rotten tomatoes?! Case closed. Man hating is totes normal and much needed.


The list could go on and on. Girl Code is still by far one of the funniest television shows I have seen, and not gonna lie I would love for them to come up with a spin off about mothers. What are some of your codes?