People they come and they go

Throughout your life it is like you shed layers of what used to be. Your past does in fact make you the person you are today, but also sometimes your past reflects the wrong choices you have made. If I could change anything in my past there is one thing I would change, me. Talking about it with my friends made me realize in my past I made choices based on the benefit of me, with out taking other people's feelings into consideration. I feel bad about this and wish there was a way I could make it up to some of these people. College was...well college. Filled with lots of fun and beverages. I am thankful that I have my college degree and also I got to "let loose" in college, because I see so many people (tons on the Cape) that just fall into this routine of having babies young; and they don't ever have the chance to live up their youth.
Ian and I had only been dating for just about a year when we found out we were pregnant with Cassidy. It happened so quick! We had know each other for years before through working together and him being a close friend with Ryan, but still a year. We had so much to still learn about each other. Through hard work, love and devotion four years later we are still going strong. Unfortunately, that is not the case for all people. They rush into something thinking it is something completely different. I think that is why Ian and I have succeeded in our relationship. We take it for what it is. The ups and the downs and we don't ever sugar coat anything. We have really learned a lot about each other. He can read me and I can read him. I am so grateful every day that he is my happily ever after.
As we inevitably get older we learn more and more about ourselves. Our taste changes. From the clothes we wear, the foods we enjoy and the company we keep. Facebook is a great tool to keep in touch with people, but it also a means of keeping track of people without them even realizing. Same with twitter, instagram all those web based programs. Part of me wants to just fall off the web world, have the people who actually want to contact me or see the girls physically do so. I am sick of the whole fighting through facebook, defriending people on this or that, fake relationships behind a computer screen. It is all so exhausting.
I am who I am because of my past. But I have also realize that I can still decide who I am each day that passes. I am living my life to my own means, for me and my family. And frankly, I don't need anyone's approval.