When I was pregnant I thought this summer was going to be "off the hook!", taking a couple of months off and enjoying summer, working on my tan...you know, things people on summer vacation do. But I went back to work early. I kind of struggle with this. I tried being a stay at home mom (that lasted about a week) but I just didn't find it stimulating enough. Don't get me wrong, love spending time with my kids but I just missed the hecticness of the boat yard and the banter of adult conversations. Cassidy is still in school three days a week, so it was just me and Zoey at home. I thought I would be able to put her in Cassidy's school in July when she was two months old that way I could start working my normal 40+ hour a week schedule, but I realized I just can't do that. I struggled with the idea of not being around her so early. I mean these are the times you really bond with your children and I don't want to give that up. Also Zoey being exclusively breastfed made me anxious. I think she eats about 3oz a feeding and I am worried I wouldn't be able to pump enough. However you take a peak in my freezer and you think I was stocking up for a couple of kids! So I came up with a compromise. Working three days a week with Zoey with me (which is great, can't have a customer yell at you because their boat isn't done when I have an adorable passed out baby with me, haha!) and then Ian will be home on Thursdays with the girls. I think this will be great for many reasons, the top being: 1) Ian will get to spend more time with Zoey and keep building his relationship with her 2) I can get some "me" time at work (seeing as though I haven't been anywhere just me since Zoey arrived) and 3) Ian can get a chance to see what it's like taking care of two kids. He is great with them both individually, but it takes some getting used to with them both together. Cassidy usually has to wait to do things because Zoey is either napping or nursing, so then she gets impatient and then all hell breaks loose! That's one thing I want to change or figure out how to make it work better. Not always having to say "not right now Cass" or "we can't do that today Cass". She really is a great kid and usually understands, but I want her to still be able to enjoy her childhood and not resent Zoey for things we can't do. So I try not to say we can't do this because of something Zoey needs or is doing.
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| such love Zoey can make a room full of people stop and say "awww". Her smile is amazing. Seriously, she smiles and everything seems all better. The best is now she is smiling when she sees people she knows. When she is squirming around at night ready to nurse, I picked her up and she grabs my shirt, or hair (whatever she can get a hold of) and smiles at me. The other morning she saw Ian and literally tried to jump out of my lap to get to him, with the BIGGEST smiles. And Cassidy. She just loves Cassidy. Gives her big smiles and kisses which is more like eating her face, AAAAdorable. I really can not wait to see them grow up together. I know it will be tough at times, but I really think the good times will out weigh the tough ones! 
nothing buy smiles and silly faces!
We had a great family day today (Ian's only day off every week). Hung out by the pool ALL day. Perfection. Cassidy is becoming quite the swimmer. She has floaties she wears but is very independent and wants to swim "all by herself". Today she kept dunking her head under the water, her newest task. Holding her breath and swimming under water. She is a fish. Just like I was. Zoey pretty much slept all day. I believe she is going through a growth spurt. She only woke up once last night to nurse and has been awak emaybe 5 hours of the day if that! Sleepy, growing girl she is.
Now we are finishing our family day with an amazing grilled dinner. Ribs, artichoke, corn and some rice. Yum! Loving summer so far, but if it cooled down just a little I would be A-okay with that!
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